One of the most confusing moments of breaking up with my ex, (not that there were not a LOT of them), were the times he mentioned needing “closure.” Normally, when two individuals decide to end a relationship, that’s all there is to it. It’s over, the couple chose to part ways, that’s it. No hard feelings, no love lost, the relationship just didn't work out. However, in his mind, that was simply not enough. He wanted one last meeting, one final attempt to express his remorse or guilt - I'm guessing. I was smart enough to not give him that opportunity.
When he and I broke up, he continued to say to me electronically, that he needed closure or that he didnt feel as if he received the closure he needed. He was even willing, according to him, to meet at the local police department to prove that he didn’t want to hurt me. Well, I enjoy living and because of my history with him, whether we were meeting at a public place or not, I knew that that would’ve been very poor judgment on my part.
Note this: many women have been killed in public places.
As I am thinking over the recent cases of domestic homicides and suicides, I can’t help but wonder if this is the thinking of most batterers. The scenario of “If I can’t have you, no one else will.” or the infamous, “I can’t live without you.” or “I’ll die if you leave me.” All of these statements represent the central matter in domestic violence and that is power and control. In these final attempts at controlling the victim, he kills her. Leaving children without their mom, leaving a mom withut her daughter or a sister; alone.
I know that there are theories out there about narcissistic personalities and abusive behaviors, but my personal theory is that it is another human life gone too soon. Whether an individual chooses to be with you or not, you nor I don't have the power to take something that we are not able to give back and maybe this is why many domestic homicides end in suicide. It is an opportunity for love eternal.
My best friend often says I don’t need anyone who’s going to love me to death - especially in a way that's is very unhealthy and could result in the ending of my life.
Be careful, your angel in disguise could very well be a wolf in sheep's clothing.
When he and I broke up, he continued to say to me electronically, that he needed closure or that he didnt feel as if he received the closure he needed. He was even willing, according to him, to meet at the local police department to prove that he didn’t want to hurt me. Well, I enjoy living and because of my history with him, whether we were meeting at a public place or not, I knew that that would’ve been very poor judgment on my part.
Note this: many women have been killed in public places.
As I am thinking over the recent cases of domestic homicides and suicides, I can’t help but wonder if this is the thinking of most batterers. The scenario of “If I can’t have you, no one else will.” or the infamous, “I can’t live without you.” or “I’ll die if you leave me.” All of these statements represent the central matter in domestic violence and that is power and control. In these final attempts at controlling the victim, he kills her. Leaving children without their mom, leaving a mom withut her daughter or a sister; alone.
I know that there are theories out there about narcissistic personalities and abusive behaviors, but my personal theory is that it is another human life gone too soon. Whether an individual chooses to be with you or not, you nor I don't have the power to take something that we are not able to give back and maybe this is why many domestic homicides end in suicide. It is an opportunity for love eternal.
My best friend often says I don’t need anyone who’s going to love me to death - especially in a way that's is very unhealthy and could result in the ending of my life.
Be careful, your angel in disguise could very well be a wolf in sheep's clothing.
