Be a champion

What defines a champion?

A champion is someone that possesses the will to excel, has colossal strength and knows what it feels like to be invincible. Champions are in a class by themselves; only a small percentage of the world’s population will make it. They refuse to accept limits and listen to conventional wisdom.  Why? Because champions are often ordinary people like you and I who dared one day to be different; to not only exist in history but alter its course.

I have had the great pleasure, along with millions of others, of watching the 2012 Olympics live from London, England. I have watched some of the world’s best athlete’s rise and fall. The athletes have cried tears over disappointment in their performance while others have celebrated with leaps of joy over sheer amazement at breaking a world record. In fact, World Champion Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones is quoted with saying this: "I'm inspired by failure. The process of defeat – picking yourself back up again is the hardest thing in the world.”  I can imagine many Olympic athletes feel the same.

Here are the lessons I have learned from watching this year’s Olympics:

1.      Preparation is key – Training begins the 1^st day you decide to compete professionally. You have to intentionally push your body to its physical limit as well as your mind.

2.      Keep pushing – You will never know pain, until you train to be a champion. Push through it.

3.      Surround yourself – with a supportive staff that will encourage you when your performance is excellent and will help you learn the lessons when it’s mediocre at best.

Every one of you reading this post is a champion. The best part of being a champion is helping someone else recognize their ability when they cannot see it in themselves.

You will never know victory until you have tasted the agony of defeat and bouncing back from defeat qualifies you.

You are more!

Go TEAM USA!

All the best,

Tamika

Author Spotlight

I invite you to check out my author spotlight written by Tremayne Moore an author in his own right.

Let me know what you think.

Happy Monday,
Tamika

http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2012/07/author-spotlight-tamika-l-sims_23.html?m=1

Car Talks

For the past several months, my sister and I have started this new tradition. It is an opportunity to connect with each other and have deep discussion on some of the issues currently happening in our lives. There is no set schedule on our car talks – we do them as the need arises. Car talks can last for as little as 15 minutes to more than one hour.  Car talks are held in a place where we have quieted the noise and can have candid conversation. Car talks are not therapy or counseling, it is not life coaching; not that there is anything wrong with either. I have benefited from both. Car talks are just that… talking and getting some things off of your chest; speaking what is on your heart.

Yes, they do actually occur in our cars.  

Car talks are very important to my sister and I because we are both moms and sometimes our children will call our names constantly, so we have to have them when we can. We have covered everything from parenting and relationships, friendships and education and more. We both let each other speak and help the other reach their own conclusion in making the best decision for them. We do not give each other advice, because we are in confident in the other’s ability to be the author of their own life.

What about you? Is there space in your life for “car talks?” Who is the individual in your life that you can trust with the hard truths about you? Maybe in your case it is not a family member, but your best friend or someone that you have known a while. In case you don’t have anyone and are wondering about this person’s qualifications, I have prepared a list for you:

·         This person must use discretion

·         They must be trustworthy and possess the capability to be honest with you
·         They must be an active listener and must possess the ability to keep their advice to   themselves unless asked
·         They must value who you are
·         They must be nonjudgmental

My sister happens to be a perfect match.

The one skill that is the most valued is listening. I have found two quotes that sum up this characteristic in a nutshell; I thought I would share them with you. “Learning how to listen so that you really hear is the key to relationships,” by Thomas W. McKee and St. Francis of Assisi says this, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  

 …and except for occasional knocking on the window by my son or her son, car talks are a welcomed treat and oftentimes a great way to end the day.

"I'm Tired of Remembering, Help Me to Forget!"

                      
…very strong words from my sister.

With the recent publication of my first book The Plus Factor- I have had to remember and recount everything bad in my former abusive relationship. Yet, I understand that in order for us to move forward- we have to remember although it would seem better for us if we could forget.

When my sister expressed this sentiment - it was from a place where several emotions were running together. Joy and pain. Hate and love. Even feelings of turmoil and triumph woven in between. Yet, when she said it, although, we laughed about it - I could completely relate. How often would you and I want to forget our pain and whom caused the pain? Forget where we were when the painful event happened to us? Our minds and our hearts say we should let go, we should move on, let bygones be bygones and subsequently let the pain go away. But, then we remember; and it comes back to us freshly embedded in our psyches. It’s as if we are living it all over again.

So it is with me.

It’s very difficult to share the pain of domestic abuse with the world. I say in my book, “domestic violence was no longer going to be my secret, the jewel placed in my crown as though it was a prized possession.” But, rather it was time for me to experience the healing that was mine for the asking. Yes, I had undergone therapy, intensive individual as well as group. I journaled, almost every day. I talked it over with other survivors, women who had walked the path that was now lain before me. Everytime I thought I was getting better, I realized that hole was just a little bit deeper. I still had more in me; more emotions, more pain and I needed to get them out. I needed to write. I needed the journey of my soul’s healing to be made a memorial for all who would come after me and needed to know that there was a way out.

I remembered. I remembered that this journey was no longer about me. I realized that it was not my duty to share my story; it was a privilege. God gave me the opportunity, so this was something I got to do. I remembered that I was not the only one suffering in silence. I remembered in the place that the spiritually sick come to get help - there were victims. I remembered that had it not been for someone reaching out to help me, that I may still be in that relationship. I remembered knowing that there was more in life for me to do. I remembered that my life had purpose and destiny. I remembered that somewhere, some place, some victim was going to read my story and use it to get help themselves or share it with a loved one.

Remembering was hard; forgetting even more so  - but the good has most certainly outweighed the bad.

Oh, and my sister? She's helping me deal with the pain everyday.

A Lesson from Jameer

                      

One of the greatest joys of my life has been the birth of my youngest nephew Jameer. The past 23 months have been nothing short of amazing. This is not to say that I do not love all of my nieces and nephews, because nothing would be farther from the truth. It is different because he lives with me. As an aunt, my heart is filled to capacity with love. However, the pure love that radiates from him every day makes my heart feel as if it is going to explode.  

From the moment, I knew that my sister was having a little boy; I fell in love with this little guy. Each day since he has come home from the hospital, I have had the pleasure of watching him learn, grow, develop and explore life – through his eyes.

At about 18 months of age, Jameer started to do this quirky little thing of clapping his hands. For example, when he first understood the word “kiss” he would give me or his mom a kiss and he would say, “Yay,” and clap his hands. When he first learned to toss a ball back and forth, again; “Yay,” and clap his hands. His newest challenge is learning how to count. Thus far, he says, “one, two, three, four, five … nine.” And you know what he did? Yes, you guessed it, “Yay,” and clapped his hands.

Here is what you and I can learn from Jameer. Regardless of the size of the accomplishment, celebrate your achievement of it. Too often, we make light of the goals we have been able to reach or milestones we have surpassed and we minimize. But, everyday, no matter how small the fete, Jameer says, “Yay,” and claps his hands and he does it with the biggest smile on his face.

So, take a lesson from Jameer and celebrate life’s little accomplishments. I am not saying that you have to jump up and down as a toddler would, but no one would penalize you for doing so. What I can say is that the more you do it, the less awkward it will become. At the end of the day, you are a much better, stronger, healthier and happier you.

Stay blessed and empowered on your journey!

Winning

                           Yesterday I met with my Pastor. As he and I were sharing our thoughts in this meeting, he said something that struck a chord in me. He stated, “no one wins a gold medal without a coach.” He spent a few more seconds explaining to me what this statement means, but internally I was already processing what this meant for my life. Here is my understanding; there is not one athlete participating in the Olympic Games that does not have the inward desire to bring home the gold; to be the person standing tallest and highest at the end of the competition. Sure, everybody will do their level best – but only one will wear that gold medal. In order to get there, that person MUST have a coach.

What is a coach?

He or she is the person in your life who will push you to the limit, “get in your face,” and not allow you to throw the towel in simply because YOU think you have reached your maximum. At times, you will regret the decision made to have a coach at all because we think we can reach our ultimate goal(s) alone. In all of the seeming punishment you have to endure, your coach has one goal in mind – to see you WIN!

In the race of life, God will allow people to cross our paths that will make us uncomfortable with being too comfortable. These people will be our coaches; because they will see the potential inside us that we oftentimes cannot see for ourselves. Truthfully, we need coaches. Why; because we all want to win. I don’t know what winning means in your life, whatever your definition you will need people to help you get there.

The coaches in my life are the people that make me uncomfortable with being too comfortable and comfortable with being uncomfortable. They challenge me on every side forcing me to be “active” in my life and not passively sit by on the sidelines and watch it happen. I appreciate them.
Who are your coaches? Who are those God has put in your life to make you better, greater, and ultimately help you win? Whoever they are, learn the lessons, take the necessary steps, endure the pain, sweat, and tears. I can promise you that if you stick with the routine and the intense regimen, your latter will be greater and in your moment of victory you will stand tallest and highest at the end.

Dont give up!