Car Talks

For the past several months, my sister and I have started this new tradition. It is an opportunity to connect with each other and have deep discussion on some of the issues currently happening in our lives. There is no set schedule on our car talks – we do them as the need arises. Car talks can last for as little as 15 minutes to more than one hour.  Car talks are held in a place where we have quieted the noise and can have candid conversation. Car talks are not therapy or counseling, it is not life coaching; not that there is anything wrong with either. I have benefited from both. Car talks are just that… talking and getting some things off of your chest; speaking what is on your heart.

Yes, they do actually occur in our cars.  

Car talks are very important to my sister and I because we are both moms and sometimes our children will call our names constantly, so we have to have them when we can. We have covered everything from parenting and relationships, friendships and education and more. We both let each other speak and help the other reach their own conclusion in making the best decision for them. We do not give each other advice, because we are in confident in the other’s ability to be the author of their own life.

What about you? Is there space in your life for “car talks?” Who is the individual in your life that you can trust with the hard truths about you? Maybe in your case it is not a family member, but your best friend or someone that you have known a while. In case you don’t have anyone and are wondering about this person’s qualifications, I have prepared a list for you:

·         This person must use discretion

·         They must be trustworthy and possess the capability to be honest with you
·         They must be an active listener and must possess the ability to keep their advice to   themselves unless asked
·         They must value who you are
·         They must be nonjudgmental

My sister happens to be a perfect match.

The one skill that is the most valued is listening. I have found two quotes that sum up this characteristic in a nutshell; I thought I would share them with you. “Learning how to listen so that you really hear is the key to relationships,” by Thomas W. McKee and St. Francis of Assisi says this, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  

 …and except for occasional knocking on the window by my son or her son, car talks are a welcomed treat and oftentimes a great way to end the day.