'Til Death Do Us Part...

One of the most confusing moments of breaking up with my ex, (not that there were not a LOT of them), were the times he mentioned needing “closure.” Normally, when two individuals decide to end a relationship, that’s all there is to it. It’s over, the couple chose to part ways, that’s it. No hard feelings, no love lost, the relationship just didn't work out. However, in his mind, that was simply not enough. He wanted one last meeting, one final attempt to express his remorse or guilt - I'm guessing. I was smart enough to not give him that opportunity.

When he and I broke up, he continued to say to me electronically, that he needed closure or that he didnt feel as if he received the closure he needed. He was even willing, according to him, to meet at the local  police department to prove that he didn’t want to hurt me. Well, I enjoy living and because of my history with him, whether we were meeting at a public place or not, I knew that that would’ve been very poor judgment on my part.

Note this: many women have been killed in public places.

As I am thinking over the recent  cases of domestic homicides and suicides, I can’t help but wonder if this is the thinking of most batterers. The scenario of “If I can’t have you, no one else will.” or the infamous, “I can’t live without you.” or “I’ll die if you leave me.” All of these statements represent the central matter in domestic violence and that is power and control. In these final attempts at controlling the victim, he kills her. Leaving children without their mom, leaving a mom withut her daughter or a sister; alone.

I know that there are theories out there about narcissistic personalities and abusive behaviors, but my personal theory is that it is another human life gone too soon. Whether an individual chooses to be with you or not, you nor I don't have the power to take something that we are not able to give back and maybe this is why many domestic homicides end in suicide. It is an opportunity for love eternal.

My best friend often says I don’t need anyone who’s going to love me to death - especially in a way that's is very unhealthy and could result in the ending of my life.

Be careful, your angel in disguise could very well be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Book Review: The Plus Factor by Tamika L. Sims

Book Review: The Plus Factor by Tamika L. Sims

Check out this review of my book featured in Black Literature Magazine!

Joy

I came across this quote today and thought I would share it:

"I certainly wasn't happy. Happiness has to do with reason, and only reason earns it. What I was given was the thing you can't earn, and can't keep and often don't even recognize at the time; I mean joy." Ursula K. Leguin

In spite of all that I've been through, I still have my joy. 

Life Stage

I am moving and in that process, I decided to place an ad on Craigslist. After one week and a half, I began to receive e-mails and phone calls. Yesterday, I sold my first item to a woman named Guadulupe*.

Guadulupe informed me that she and her husband had recently moved into their new place and she needed the Bakers Rack I had for sale in her kitchen. What a time we had loading this into her car. At first, we did not have the tools needed to take it apart, then; there was the spacing issue in her trunk. After some trial and plenty of error, we were able to load it into her trunk and backseat after borrowing a tool from my neighbor and doing some maneuvering.

We were making small talk, and then she said, “It’s amazing how you go through life. My husband and I didn’t really date, we had a long distance relationship but we have known each other since we were children. I went from being single – to married- to a mom.” You all know me. Once she uttered that statement, instantly my mind started thinking about the life stages we go through and the transitions we make, some instantly, some over time. Some avoidable: but not inevitable.

As Guadulupe, I would hope that you would embrace your life stage with an open mind and heart as she did. Just in my small interaction with her, I could tell that she was strong physically (I mean the girl could lift)! Even climbing inside of her trunk to move a tire and a speaker… talk about strength!  I could tell that she was an independent woman, learning to be handy around the house, during times of her husband’s absence.

I have been in a transitional period, since January 2012. But, this has not been my only time. I have been through several transitions in the past several years. I embraced some and fought against the others, nevertheless, each time they have made me a better person and revealed a little more of my character as I went on. The important thing to remember in a transition is to move. You must be able to move from where you are. You must be able to see a situation for what it really is, acknowledge the truth about it and you and decide. Decide to be the best you that you can be. Decide to learn the lesson. Decide your next steps, and then carefully lay out a plan to carry them out. This is not to say that you will not fail along the way, because you very well may. Falling down is not the issue; the issue is in whether you decide to get back up again.

What about you? What has been your most influential transitional period? What did you learn from it? What did you change as a result of it? How did it make you a better person? Leave a comment below..

"I Choose to Stay"

"My husband is narcissistic and has been for all of our 38 years of marriage. His abusive behavior includes control, verbal and emotional abuse, false accusations and more. ...I have not left my husband, nor will I..."

Take a moment and think on her words.

This woman willingly admitted that she had been married to an abusive man for almost 40 years, yet in recognizing his behavior, she also was able to recognize in herself, that no matter what she was not dissolving her marriage. What a bold statement!

I was able to provide her with support; letting her know that leaving or staying would always be her decision. She chose to stay. Therefore, I would not be the voice of condemnation or judgment as some are in the habit of doing. I let her know that she was strong and resilient and that it was good for her to recognize that she not get lost in her “staying.” She was then able to admit to me that she had somehow and sometimes in a very small manner, put herself and her needs first.

During the rest of our conversation, I let her know that there were community resources available to her. She could join a local battered women’s support group or volunteer with a local program. I informed her that participating on this level would allow her to see that she was not alone in her decision-making. Many women struggle with whether or not to leave their abusive partner. Victims choose to stay for a number of reasons: fear, lack of family or financial support, love, guilt or shame.

Survivors of domestic violence are at a unique place in their lives. Within them lies the power to believe in themselves, put them first and be the author of their own destiny. What then can you do to help a woman who chooses to stay?

1.      Support her decision; even if it is not a decision you would make for yourself;

2.      Provide a listening ear or shoulder to learn on.

3.      Provide practical support (holding on to important documents, extra sets of clothing, etc).

4.      Express concern for her safety and the safety of her children.

5.      Keep her trust. Maintain confidentiality.

6.      This is the hardest: NEVER, EVER tell a woman to leave her relationship – this will surely backfire.

7.      Very simply: be a good friend and remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Consistency

This past week I was talking with a friend about consistency.

We had been talking for quite some time about changes we both needed to make in our lives. Sometimes, these changes needed to be made in similar areas. This friend is someone that I am able to be very honest and frank with – especially with areas that I have concerns about. I expressed my feelings on a very important matter and then said to him, “consistency is the name of the game.” This friend agreed. I was asked to share my suggestions and I did. Well, in worship service today, the title of the pastor’s sermon was consistency.

Here’s what I learned today:

Consistency is defined as the catalyst of success. It is the constant adhering to the same principles. It is firmness. Consistency requires discipline. It is often the discipline factor that hinders us from being consistent in every area of our lives. Consistency causes the people in our lives to develop a certain sense of security in the things we do. Why? Our behavior remains the same. Often with this, as the pastor said today, we are taken for granted. He went on to say something very interesting, that we should see our being taken for granted as a compliment rather than an offense. I thought on this for a moment but then realized the truth in this statement. Well, what about the opposite of being consistent; inconsistent.

Inconsistency hinders your growth. It can develop into a pattern where you never achieve and get to the place where God wants you to be. Whereas consistency requires discipline, inconsistency does not. Inconsistency doesn’t care about the goals you have set for your life. Because quite frankly; being inconsistent ensures that you will never get there.

In my quiet time, I am often reflecting on my life and my vision for my life. What I have realized is that I am very good with leaving tips from “Tamika’s Toolkit.” I want to be known as a resource that helps to empower and educate others. Here are tips from Tamika’s Toolkit on being more consistent.  
1.      An excellent spirit will get you preferential treatment. Inconsistency in your life, will keep you from developing an excellent spirit.

2.      Being consistent will allow you to remain true to yourself even in conflict.

3.      Your consistent behavior helps others to develop a sense of security that envelopes them. These people know that you will always remain true, because you always have.

Oh, did I mention consistency is the name of the game?.

 

Tamika

Domestic Violence: Love's Crime

Last week, I learned of the tragic death of a former church member, Johnette; violently strangled to death by her boyfriend of six months. A crime he lied about committing in an attempt to cover up what he did. My heart has been grieving her death since last Thursday. I came to the realization that at any time during the violent attacks by my former boyfriend, that could have been me. As my mom came to the realization, tears began to fall from her cheeks to her clothing. Her heart was overwhelmed, another life lost to domestic violence. Then late Saturday evening, I learned of the domestic violence crime involving Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada; this occurring after only one month of marriage.

Domestic violence knows no race or ethnicity. It does not care if you are a successful reality television star or a call center employee. It does not matter about your socio-economic status or educational background. It is love’s crime. At the end of the day, domestic violence is about power and control. One partner abusing his power over the other. The love the victim feels for the abuser is used against her in many ways. It keeps her subservient, dependent and struggling with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

I have heard the comments made about both women – all of which enraged me to no end. People speak out of ignorance; due to a lack of understanding of what life is like for the battered woman. Until they walk a mile in those high-heeled shoes, they will never know what it means. People on the outside looking in, don’t understand how powerless she is. Nor, the depth of psychological abuse she has endured. No victim wants to really believe that their partner is abusive. She feels as if she can love him harder, more, deeper and her situation will change, but sadly, there is nothing she can do. Violence is a choice he makes.

Domestic violence is not about anger. If this were the case, we would all be abusers. Violence is not caused by mental illness, genetics, stress or the state of our current economy. Let me restate this fact: violence is a choice.

If you, or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, get out while you still can. The violence will never go away, regardless of how apologetic he is it will happen again. The violence will get worse. You could end up seriously injured or worse. Recognize the fact that you are not alone in what you’re experiencing. Your emotional roller coaster, the highs and the lows, are all very normal and to be expected. Many victims have been in your shoes and they have made it; so will you. Call 1-800-799-SAFE and learn more about resources in your area.

Let’s not sit back idly and learn of another victim. Let’s act while we can – before it becomes too late.

Transition

One week ago I had the pleasure of serving on a panel entitled “Seasons of a Woman.” I did not realize what a tremendous blessing this would be. The topics covered almost every area of a woman’s life. There was a panelist who had a human resources background, so she discussed professional women in the workplace. Other topics were marriage; parenting and then I discussed healthy/unhealthy relationships.

Healing took place in that room that Friday evening.

To add icing to the cake, that following Saturday morning I spoke at a women’s empowerment brunch on “Empowering Your Future: People Want to Know Your Story.”  Talk about powerful! My heart was so overjoyed that I was crying while presenting. I consider myself a professional speaker so that was not my normal. Nevertheless, the tears shed were cleansing.

Then I accepted a new position having to resign from my beloved job at a local non-profit. I struggled making this decision because I was the one of the few who actually loves their job. But when life has you in a period of transition you have no choice but to move. While I struggled with saying, “yes”, I also knew that I had to be business-like and think of myself and my family.

What is a transition and how do you know when you are in one? I thought you’d never ask. Merriam-Webster defines “transition” as: passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another. The next word in the definition in all capital letters: CHANGE. I am not one to neglect my spiritual side. It is because of this that I always remain sensitive to God’s voice. I have known since January 2012 that this would be the year of transition for me. I have experienced change in several areas of my life; some good, some not so good. Yet, I have learned the lessons that accompany each.

Transitions are inevitable and essential; essential to your growth and development; upward mobility or any lateral move you make. They are unavoidable. The process will go smoothly if you allow it to happen and not go kicking and screaming. But, I hear you. We are human beings and it is in our nature to resist change. Think about it. How much more does that put off the thing that God wants to happen in your life?

Today, I’m encouraging you to embrace the change that is happening in your life. Don’t resist it. Don’t postpone it.

You never know what blessing will be waiting on you, the other side of through.

Be Inspired! Be Encouraged! Be Empowered!

Tamika

Be a champion

What defines a champion?

A champion is someone that possesses the will to excel, has colossal strength and knows what it feels like to be invincible. Champions are in a class by themselves; only a small percentage of the world’s population will make it. They refuse to accept limits and listen to conventional wisdom.  Why? Because champions are often ordinary people like you and I who dared one day to be different; to not only exist in history but alter its course.

I have had the great pleasure, along with millions of others, of watching the 2012 Olympics live from London, England. I have watched some of the world’s best athlete’s rise and fall. The athletes have cried tears over disappointment in their performance while others have celebrated with leaps of joy over sheer amazement at breaking a world record. In fact, World Champion Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones is quoted with saying this: "I'm inspired by failure. The process of defeat – picking yourself back up again is the hardest thing in the world.”  I can imagine many Olympic athletes feel the same.

Here are the lessons I have learned from watching this year’s Olympics:

1.      Preparation is key – Training begins the 1^st day you decide to compete professionally. You have to intentionally push your body to its physical limit as well as your mind.

2.      Keep pushing – You will never know pain, until you train to be a champion. Push through it.

3.      Surround yourself – with a supportive staff that will encourage you when your performance is excellent and will help you learn the lessons when it’s mediocre at best.

Every one of you reading this post is a champion. The best part of being a champion is helping someone else recognize their ability when they cannot see it in themselves.

You will never know victory until you have tasted the agony of defeat and bouncing back from defeat qualifies you.

You are more!

Go TEAM USA!

All the best,

Tamika

Author Spotlight

I invite you to check out my author spotlight written by Tremayne Moore an author in his own right.

Let me know what you think.

Happy Monday,
Tamika

http://mayneman.blogspot.com/2012/07/author-spotlight-tamika-l-sims_23.html?m=1

Car Talks

For the past several months, my sister and I have started this new tradition. It is an opportunity to connect with each other and have deep discussion on some of the issues currently happening in our lives. There is no set schedule on our car talks – we do them as the need arises. Car talks can last for as little as 15 minutes to more than one hour.  Car talks are held in a place where we have quieted the noise and can have candid conversation. Car talks are not therapy or counseling, it is not life coaching; not that there is anything wrong with either. I have benefited from both. Car talks are just that… talking and getting some things off of your chest; speaking what is on your heart.

Yes, they do actually occur in our cars.  

Car talks are very important to my sister and I because we are both moms and sometimes our children will call our names constantly, so we have to have them when we can. We have covered everything from parenting and relationships, friendships and education and more. We both let each other speak and help the other reach their own conclusion in making the best decision for them. We do not give each other advice, because we are in confident in the other’s ability to be the author of their own life.

What about you? Is there space in your life for “car talks?” Who is the individual in your life that you can trust with the hard truths about you? Maybe in your case it is not a family member, but your best friend or someone that you have known a while. In case you don’t have anyone and are wondering about this person’s qualifications, I have prepared a list for you:

·         This person must use discretion

·         They must be trustworthy and possess the capability to be honest with you
·         They must be an active listener and must possess the ability to keep their advice to   themselves unless asked
·         They must value who you are
·         They must be nonjudgmental

My sister happens to be a perfect match.

The one skill that is the most valued is listening. I have found two quotes that sum up this characteristic in a nutshell; I thought I would share them with you. “Learning how to listen so that you really hear is the key to relationships,” by Thomas W. McKee and St. Francis of Assisi says this, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  

 …and except for occasional knocking on the window by my son or her son, car talks are a welcomed treat and oftentimes a great way to end the day.

"I'm Tired of Remembering, Help Me to Forget!"

                      
…very strong words from my sister.

With the recent publication of my first book The Plus Factor- I have had to remember and recount everything bad in my former abusive relationship. Yet, I understand that in order for us to move forward- we have to remember although it would seem better for us if we could forget.

When my sister expressed this sentiment - it was from a place where several emotions were running together. Joy and pain. Hate and love. Even feelings of turmoil and triumph woven in between. Yet, when she said it, although, we laughed about it - I could completely relate. How often would you and I want to forget our pain and whom caused the pain? Forget where we were when the painful event happened to us? Our minds and our hearts say we should let go, we should move on, let bygones be bygones and subsequently let the pain go away. But, then we remember; and it comes back to us freshly embedded in our psyches. It’s as if we are living it all over again.

So it is with me.

It’s very difficult to share the pain of domestic abuse with the world. I say in my book, “domestic violence was no longer going to be my secret, the jewel placed in my crown as though it was a prized possession.” But, rather it was time for me to experience the healing that was mine for the asking. Yes, I had undergone therapy, intensive individual as well as group. I journaled, almost every day. I talked it over with other survivors, women who had walked the path that was now lain before me. Everytime I thought I was getting better, I realized that hole was just a little bit deeper. I still had more in me; more emotions, more pain and I needed to get them out. I needed to write. I needed the journey of my soul’s healing to be made a memorial for all who would come after me and needed to know that there was a way out.

I remembered. I remembered that this journey was no longer about me. I realized that it was not my duty to share my story; it was a privilege. God gave me the opportunity, so this was something I got to do. I remembered that I was not the only one suffering in silence. I remembered in the place that the spiritually sick come to get help - there were victims. I remembered that had it not been for someone reaching out to help me, that I may still be in that relationship. I remembered knowing that there was more in life for me to do. I remembered that my life had purpose and destiny. I remembered that somewhere, some place, some victim was going to read my story and use it to get help themselves or share it with a loved one.

Remembering was hard; forgetting even more so  - but the good has most certainly outweighed the bad.

Oh, and my sister? She's helping me deal with the pain everyday.

A Lesson from Jameer

                      

One of the greatest joys of my life has been the birth of my youngest nephew Jameer. The past 23 months have been nothing short of amazing. This is not to say that I do not love all of my nieces and nephews, because nothing would be farther from the truth. It is different because he lives with me. As an aunt, my heart is filled to capacity with love. However, the pure love that radiates from him every day makes my heart feel as if it is going to explode.  

From the moment, I knew that my sister was having a little boy; I fell in love with this little guy. Each day since he has come home from the hospital, I have had the pleasure of watching him learn, grow, develop and explore life – through his eyes.

At about 18 months of age, Jameer started to do this quirky little thing of clapping his hands. For example, when he first understood the word “kiss” he would give me or his mom a kiss and he would say, “Yay,” and clap his hands. When he first learned to toss a ball back and forth, again; “Yay,” and clap his hands. His newest challenge is learning how to count. Thus far, he says, “one, two, three, four, five … nine.” And you know what he did? Yes, you guessed it, “Yay,” and clapped his hands.

Here is what you and I can learn from Jameer. Regardless of the size of the accomplishment, celebrate your achievement of it. Too often, we make light of the goals we have been able to reach or milestones we have surpassed and we minimize. But, everyday, no matter how small the fete, Jameer says, “Yay,” and claps his hands and he does it with the biggest smile on his face.

So, take a lesson from Jameer and celebrate life’s little accomplishments. I am not saying that you have to jump up and down as a toddler would, but no one would penalize you for doing so. What I can say is that the more you do it, the less awkward it will become. At the end of the day, you are a much better, stronger, healthier and happier you.

Stay blessed and empowered on your journey!

Winning

                           Yesterday I met with my Pastor. As he and I were sharing our thoughts in this meeting, he said something that struck a chord in me. He stated, “no one wins a gold medal without a coach.” He spent a few more seconds explaining to me what this statement means, but internally I was already processing what this meant for my life. Here is my understanding; there is not one athlete participating in the Olympic Games that does not have the inward desire to bring home the gold; to be the person standing tallest and highest at the end of the competition. Sure, everybody will do their level best – but only one will wear that gold medal. In order to get there, that person MUST have a coach.

What is a coach?

He or she is the person in your life who will push you to the limit, “get in your face,” and not allow you to throw the towel in simply because YOU think you have reached your maximum. At times, you will regret the decision made to have a coach at all because we think we can reach our ultimate goal(s) alone. In all of the seeming punishment you have to endure, your coach has one goal in mind – to see you WIN!

In the race of life, God will allow people to cross our paths that will make us uncomfortable with being too comfortable. These people will be our coaches; because they will see the potential inside us that we oftentimes cannot see for ourselves. Truthfully, we need coaches. Why; because we all want to win. I don’t know what winning means in your life, whatever your definition you will need people to help you get there.

The coaches in my life are the people that make me uncomfortable with being too comfortable and comfortable with being uncomfortable. They challenge me on every side forcing me to be “active” in my life and not passively sit by on the sidelines and watch it happen. I appreciate them.
Who are your coaches? Who are those God has put in your life to make you better, greater, and ultimately help you win? Whoever they are, learn the lessons, take the necessary steps, endure the pain, sweat, and tears. I can promise you that if you stick with the routine and the intense regimen, your latter will be greater and in your moment of victory you will stand tallest and highest at the end.

Dont give up!

Admit. Accept. Fluorish.

                          
Social media is dangerous.

Well, it has proven to be dangerous at least in my hands. Here is my little disclaimer: I have had a Facebook account since the beginning. My social media family grew to include Twitter (a few times) LinkedIn, Tumblr, Blogger and a personal web site. I thoroughly embraced it and while the sites themselves never changed what I was “sharing” about myself did.

One of my friends made a very good point; people can be whoever they want to be on the web. It is easy to create an alter ego or persona. I have found myself saying that, “I am never going to meet these people in person, so it doesn’t matter who I really am or portray myself to be." Wrong! The alter ego I created caused me to get a lot of negative attention. I relished in it. I laughed about it. I never took it seriously until one day I realized that my followers were beginning to expect this behavior from me and it was uncharacteristic of whom I really was as a person, as a woman, as a mom and as a professional.

Then, I became a published author in September 2011 and all things changed. Instantly, I was put into a category that many writers desire. Where previously I made little changes to my behavior; a little change was not warranted in this situation. There needed to be a complete 360 degree makeover. I needed to re-invent myself. My journey was just beginning and my foundation needed to be lain stronger.

According to merriam-webster.com, re-inventing is defined as “to remake or redo completely.” The prefix “re” means to do again; consider these words: replay, repeat, and reorganize. I’m a huge internet researcher and here is what I found.

According to www.truesuccessteams.com, this is what it means to re-invent you. “To truly re-invent one’s self one would question everything they are doing an bring it back to their core values and make a course correction, either a “reinvention” by turning 90-degrees, or simply a refinement of one’s course. It isn’t really even so much a “re-invention” but an admission and acceptance and flourishing of our deepest passions. I know….it’s like a flower. It was always there, but the reinvention is the blossoming of who one really is, finally letting it come out.”

The words highlighted in bold are what struck a chord in me. Everything has a process; especially when it comes to life. The only things necessary are admitting, accepting and ultimately flourishing with our newfound selves. I am so proud that I was able to do this before it would have been too late.
Well, what about in your life? You know you have this problem or this issue, but have you admitted to yourself that you do? When you are re-inventing yourself, the only person that matters is YOU. Don’t allow anyone else to define who you are.

Oh, and don’t tell my friends about my initial statement – they would NEVER believe you!

Tamika

Basketball Wives

                        

Anyone who knows me can tell you that Basketball Wives is one of my favorite reality television shows. I have watched this show since the first season and throughout each season, I have watched the lives of these women evolve. Well, as much as the cameras have portrayed. Along the way there have been plenty of highs and lows, fights and make-ups, divorce, and strangely enough, plenty of "births." I am not speaking of birth in the context of delivering a newborn.

Evelyn (one of the show's main characters) is now a published author and the creator of a make-up line, Jennifer has launched Lucid, lip gloss line, Tami’s daughters are launching their music career and Shaunie to me is a woman on top. Not only by producing the show but managing her career and being a full-time mom. At one point, there was talk of Shaunie having a shoe line with Candies.

While the good can be shown, what often stays in our mind is all of the negative publicity. I, nor you, are in a position to judge their lives.  How could we effectively? We only see them for one hour each week throughout the duration of each season on the VH1 network. The one criticism I do have is all of the backbiting that happens between friends.  At the end of the day when your marriage is rocky, family relationships are crazy, children are misbehaving or worse, plus the addition of dealing with yourself - all you have are your girls.

I started thinking about girl friends and how important they are to our lives, especially, as women.

Best girl friends are your shoulder to lean on, your ride or die chicks. They promise to never tell your dirty little secrets, because they were probably right their with you. They are the person who understands you, your pain, your heart, your joys and sorrows. They know what looks good on you and what does not. They celebrate your successes even if nothing is going for them at the moment. They love you in spite of, carrying your worst secrets to their graves; yes, ladies and gentlemen, THIS is friendship.

What happens when things get sour in your friendship? What happens when your best girl doesn’t seem to communicate with you anymore, she extends her friendship circle or maybe she changes?

These are the times where you hold onto the reasons you became friends in the first place. Treasure those times, laughs and memories – because these are the things that will help you press during your ugliest of moments. I believe the rift between Jennifer and Evelyn lacked this element. There were moments when each tried to converse with the other, but their emotions were too high. They could not "hear" the other one. They were no longer able to be objective. Why; they were hurt and hurt people, hurt people.

No one likes to the object of someone’s hurt, especially when that hurt does not involve them. Nevertheless, this often happens in friendships and always with those closest to our hearts.

There is good news. At the end of Season Four during the Reunion Special, I was elated to see Jennifer and Evelyn make up. I shed tears along with these two ladies. I believe that the both of them were able to release a great sigh of relief

At the end of the day, our girlfriends are all we have. When the world seems to walk away – they remain.

It behooves us to cherish them while they are here with us, because one day they will not be.

Tamika